Discover His heart: He provides a way for us to reconcile with others
Counselors, therapists, mediators and coaches spend a great deal of time helping clients resolve conflicts in their lives, and they accomplish a lot of good and help people move past difficult situations. It’s not surprising, however, that the Bible offers some guidelines for believers within the church who find themselves at odds with someone.
For those individuals who have never experienced conflict with anyone, I suppose this devotional may be irrelevant. Still, just in case a conflict should someday pop up, it could never hurt to be aware of the plan Jesus offered to resolve conflicts.
@ Matthew 18
It’s troubling that God’s straightforward set of guidelines for conflict resolution is so seldom followed. Maybe because it’s so clear-cut, we feel it just isn’t profound enough to help, or perhaps we’re just too cowardly to try it. I’m not sure. “If another believer sins against you,” this is what we should do…according to Jesus:
- “Go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful,
- Take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen,
- Take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.” (18:15-17) Now that would be a memorable Sunday service. And to be considered a tax collector – the ultimate disgrace!
If we find ourselves in conflict with someone, common sense should prevail. If I am upset because someone says something insensitive to me, fails to compliment a new hairstyle or ignores me, etc, it’s probably time for a little dying to self on my part. In Matthew 18, Jesus was talking about “if another believer sins against you,” follow these guidelines.
If we fail to follow the Lord’s instructions, we often end up sinning ourselves with an unforgiving heart or by gossiping and causing division. There will always, absolutely always, be someone close at hand who is willing to listen if I choose to gossip instead of following His guidelines. In our conflicts, God will provide all the grace we need to resolve them, but there may not be grace for those uninvolved individuals that we choose to include through gossip. They, in turn, pick up our offense without grace, and it always turns out badly. Sometimes rather than follow His guidelines, we may feel it’s just easier to keep our hurt, keep it to ourselves, let it fester and grow into bitterness. Ugh!
When we follow the Lord’s plan to resolve conflict, we find ourselves back in unity, in agreement. I love that Jesus followed these guidelines with a promise of help in matters of conflict and discipline, and I believe, for prayer in general as well, “If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” (18:19-20) Who doesn’t want that!
Moving Forward: Imprint these guidelines on my heart, Lord, that I might not sin against you. Help me live in such a way that no one has the need to approach me regarding sins I have committed against another. With His help, all things are possible.
Tomorrow @Romans 15-16